The 3 Elements of Every Phase

Every phase is crucial. Every phase has its own:

1. Significant Relationships.

The significant relationships in a child’s life include parents, small group leaders, decision makers, first cousins, and senior pastors.

If you gain influence in a kid’s life now, you stand a better chance of having influence with them later when it matters even more.

That’s why every phase of a kid’s life gives your church a new opportunity to connect kids to a significant relationship.

Remember, churches are not really losing influence with an entire generation. They are actually losing influence with a lot of individual families, individual parents, individual kids.

So don’t miss it. Influence someone who influences a kid at every phase.

2. Present Realities

Before you can lead someone where they need to go, you need to know where they are.

That’s why you need to understand what’s changing and every face…physically,  mentally, relationally, culturally, emotionally, and morally.

The more you know them, the more they will…
Know they matter.
Believe they can win.
Feel like they belong.
Discern what they should do.

Remember, if you don’t know who you are talking to you can’t really expect them to listen.

So don’t miss it. The better you understand who your kids are now, the better they’ll understand who they’re meant to be.

3. Distinctive Opportunities

Kids will grow up to have a better future when three things happen:
They make wise choices.
They build strong relationships.

They have a deeper faith.

Really, the last of those three affects all the rest.

That’s why it’s up to you to leverage what’s distinctive about every phase.

Because in every phase there are opportunities to help kids…see their potential to know God, rediscover how to relate to God, and experience the unconditional love of God.

Then a kid will grow up to understand…God created them, redeem them, and desires to work through them to love the people around them.

So don’t miss it. When you show up for kids in every phase and help them develop authentic faith, you give them a better future where they can realize their created potential.

Every phase has its own significant relationship, present realities, and distinctive opportunities. So we have to pay attention. We have to do our homework. We have to show up consistently. We have to rally the church to know the kids matter at every phase.


This article is an excerpt from the book It’s Just A Phase—So Don’t Miss It: Why Every Life Stage of a Kid Matters and 13 Things Your Church Should Do About It. Read more about the book and order your copy here!