Just this past week I stumbled across Jason Good’s 46 Reasons My Three-Year-Old Might Be Freaking Out.

1. His socks are on wrong.
2. His lip tastes salty.
3. His shirt has a tag on it.
4. The car seat is weird. . .
   (Read the rest of the list on Jason’s blog.)

The first thing I thought when I read the list was how much I wanted to share it with anyone I know who has a preschooler. Because let’s be honest, this is exactly what it’s like to live with a three-year-old.

The next thing I thought was (and I’m not sure why), “I wonder what this list sounds like for the parent of a middle schooler?” Since three-year-olds and eleven-year-olds have a few similarities, I texted a few of my friends who spend a lot of time around middle schoolers, Elle Campbell and Dan Scott, and we pulled together this follow up list.

35 Reasons My Middle Schooler Might Be Freaking Out

1. I woke her up on time.
2. Her school won’t let her wear leggings as pants.
3. I drive a mini van.
4. Zayn left One Direction.
5. I don’t know which one Zayn is.
6. I asked a question.
7. I made her get out of the shower after 30 minutes.
8. I didn’t know she doesn’t like pancakes anymore.
9. I said I liked her hair today.
10. “No one” noticed her hair today.
11. Brian forgot their 3-week anniversary.
12. Mitchell doesn’t wear socks.
13. I volunteered to chaperone the class trip.
14. I picked her up where her friends could see me.
15. I confiscated her selfie stick.
16. I posted a #TBT pic of our family
17. Ben sat next to Sarah today.
18. I don’t know who Ben or Sarah are.
19. I asked about her day.
20. I didn’t ask about her day.
21. I am embarrassing.
22. She and Kelly wore the same shirt today.
23. There is (still) no taco emoji.
24. Jason touched her hand—maybe on purpose.
25. I offered to call Jason’s dad to find out.
26. I wouldn’t let her eat 24 pizza rolls as a snack.
27. I bought the wrong kind of energy drink.
28. I got a Snapchat.
29. I spoke.
30. I wouldn’t let her be a “sexy” anything for Halloween.
31. I didn’t think “everyone does it” was a good enough reason.
32. They won’t let her take her phone on the fall retreat.
33. Someone cropped her out of their Instagram photo.
34. I took her phone and made her go outside.
35. I am still embarrassing.

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Kristen Ivy

Executive Director of Messaging & Director of The Phase Project

Kristen earned her Bachelors of Education from Baylor University in 2004 and a Master of Divinity from Mercer University in 2009. Before beginning her career at Orange in 2006, she worked as a high school Biology and English teacher, where she learned firsthand the importance of influencing the next generation. Kristen and her husband Matt are currently parenting through the phases with a Kindergartener (Sawyer), a preschooler (Hensley), and her own “Zero to One” baby (Raleigh).

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